Boxsprings and stomachaches

By that, I mean a literal zoo around my house. On most occasions that is the case, but tonight seemed far worse than usual. Maybe I am just overtired. Maybe the recent full moon has had some lasting effects on child and dogs.

Most things were under control this evening. I thought to myself, "sure Ande, you've got it all under control." But things made a turn for the worst simply because I was on the phone. Now Clare can handle it for a little while, then she inevitably is dancing around me, begging to speak to whomever it is, wanting a snack, a drink,etc. You get the idea. But these dogs cannot handle it. They need attention 24 hours a day. Well they think in that mode simply because you are on the phone. And at that time, they become some sort of possessed beasts until you hang up that phone and give them your undivided attention. I knew things were going bad when I saw Aoife, the younger one, running back and forth in front of me with what appeared to be mounds of cotton balls in her mouth. I was puzzled, but tried to scoop the remains out of her throat before she could swallow most of it, all the while maintaining my phone conversation. Then the battery starts to go dead on my cordless, so I have to switch to the wall mounted version hanging on my kitchen wall. Therefore I could not move. I see her run back by me. She is gone for a bit and then tears around the corner with not only a mouthfull of the cottony substance hanging out of her mouth, but Reilly chasing her. After I hang up I go investigate, afraid of what I might find. The last time Aoife misbehaved while I was on the phone, for all of two minutes, mind you, she had jumped into the tub and ate a sponge I use to clean the tile and tub. Lovely.

This time, I find both offenders under Clare's bed, with more cottony substance. Having a grand old time, playing tug of war with it, chewing it, swallowing it....they see me and get that scared-deer-in-the-headlights look. All I could think is....What is that stuff?

I'll tell you....they had managed to eat the bottom off of Clare's boxspring in order to get to the delectable inner contents of said item. I was able to distract them with some peanut butter flavoured dental chews while I sorted out what I was going to do.

Awhile later, when trying to get Clare ready for sleep, the dogs make another dive under the bed. I figured I would just take the boxspring off of her bed. Simple enough. I took the pillows, bed linens and mattress off the bed and flipped over the boxspring. I discover they are eating the substance the manufacturers put only in the far four corners of the box spring. Why is it not covering the entire bottom of the boxspring? I am stumped. If anyone out there reading this knows why, or if you actually manufacture boxsprings, please email me. I would love to know the reasoning behind this.

We were planning on buying Clare a new mattress and boxsprings once we move, so I was not too heartbroken about the mere thought of chucking the now-dog chewed-one out. So with it removed, I raised Clare's bed to the highest level (it has four levels) and placed the mattress, linens and pillows back on. Problem solved. Or so I thought.

I get her all into bed, and sit down on top of it to read a book about Franklin the turtle and his class trip to the museum. Appropriate, as I work in musems. Anyhow that's beside the point. I sit down, right in the middle and I feel the mattress giving way under me. No it is not because I am overweight....as those of you who know me know that. I am 114. I am 5'1 and a half (can't forget that all important half). I am certainly not capable of breaking a bed. I then realise, that in my ingenious attempt to solve the dog-eating-the-boxspring-problem that I neglected to think about the fact the bed only has two, count them, TWO slats to hold the mattress/boxsprings up. And two slats won't hold up a really plush, really heavy mattress alone with no hard boxsprings on the bottom portion. I will explain that in a moment.

So I had to remove the pillows, bed linens and mattress AGAIN, move the TWO (yeah TWO) slats more towards the middle to support the middle of the mattress and replace all the items again. All the while managing to pinch the skin of my finger really hard which immediately produced one of those horrible blood blisters. This time my idea worked, albeit temporarily, I foresee tomorrow we will have to make a trip to Home Depot for some wood to make more slats. Seeing how most beds have at least four to hold the bottom up. Right?

Ok, now flashback time. To May of last year. I order Clare's bed over the internet (first mistake) through Furniturefind.com

Please, everyone, for the love of God, please make a mental note to NOT order any merchandise from Furniturefind.com. Ever. Not even on a silly whim, DO NOT DO IT!!! The reason I fell to their prey is the fact that nowhere out here in Colorado could we find a canopy bed. Nowhere. I had a lovely white canopy bed when I was five. So why shouldn't Clare? The closest thing we could come up with was a white wrought iron canopy bed. Which would suit a teenager perhaps, but not a child of five. So I spent endless evenings scanning the internet for white canopy beds. Eventually found Furniturefind.com and thought the prices were reasonable, so placed the order. The furniture took about 11 weeks to arrive. That's fine, not a big deal. The trucking company set up a day and time and delivered the bed (and desk and nightstand ). It was a Thursday at 6pm. Greg had already left to go to work since it was a night shift. Here Clare and I are awaiting the delivery. They arrive, throw the contents in the room, only put the bed together once I explained I actually paid the extra hundred and some dollars for them to assemble the items. Reluctantly they did. I notice, once the bed is all set up...no bed slats. What? No bed slats? Every bed comes with slats. I ask, "Are they on the truck? Are they lost? Will the company send some? How can I get a mattress on the bed with no slats???" Their answer was "go to Home Depot and buy some wood and cut it up to fit the bed." What?? We had just had a house fire and we just spent alot on a bed that SHOULD come with bed slats. We had no extra money for wood. We were replacing what we lost!! Luckily the newlywed couple next door, the young ones, were home. The wife had come over to keep me company so I wouldn't be here with strange men alone. Luckily they had a spare bed and she brought over two slats. That would hold for the time being.

Now I am not telling you to never order from this company solely for the reason the bed came with no slats. Aggravating as it was, that's not why. I had to point out to the delivery people there were some cracks in two of the posts on the bed. (not super noticeable but noticeable enough when you pay good money on something) At which they said someone would contact me about it. And of course, because most people are incompetent at their jobs, they never did. I had to leave about a million voice mails, emails, you name it, to get hold of a supervisor there. Then I was told they could not even find my order since it had been cancelled in May. Yeah that makes sense considering I HAD THE FURNITURE IN MY HOUSE BUT IT WAS DEFECTIVE. Nothing was resolved until September (two months later) when a supervisor promised me another bed would be delivered. Those drivers didn't arrive until 9.30pm one evening. They disassemble Clare's bed, and I ask "where is the replacement I was promised?" You know what they had? One of the iron bed frames that sits under the mattresses. No canopy bed, no replacement posts, but an iron bedframe. And you know what was worse? It was a king sized frame and her bed is a single. Needless to say I had them put her bed back together (she was not going to sleep on a mattress on the floor for an indefinite amout of time) and the next day I was on to the supervisors again.

Nothing was ever resolved. I spent all that money on a bed that has two cracks in it and never came with slats. Oh yeah, the supervisor told me beds these days do not come with slats. I've never heard of that. Plus our new bedroom furniture (not bought online) was delivered with bed slats. And that was recent, June to be exact. So they (furniturefind.com) are insane. To say the least.

So as I said, tomorrow will consist of a trip to Home Depot for some wood to make bed slats.

I am unsure of exactly how much of that cottony stuff my dogs ingested. Even a miniscule amount can't be good for their digestive tract. They are not starved, they get really great quality food. They have never laid a tooth on any other furniture/items in this house.Why they want to eat such a bizarre thing is beyond me. In every other aspect they do not act like dogs. They act like people.

Either way, I have a strong suspicion Aoife will be ridding herself of the woolly boxspring contents soon. One way or another it will come up or out. If it involves the coming up bit, (i.e. doggie vomit) I can bet it will be around 5am and it will happen on my bed. (that happened before when she ate a dryer sheet as tho she had no other morsel of food to eat)

One other thing that is mysterious. I noticed the cross that is supposed to be hanging over Clare's bed was found under the bed. I saw this while I was lying under the bed trying to assess the initial problem. That's all well and good, it didn't break, so no threat of glass entering someone's foot or paw. However, when I went to place the cross back on the wall, I found the small nail was missing. I re-checked under the bed. Nothing. Gone. Vanished. Not anywhere remotely in the area. So the next question is: Where did it go?

I think one of these Jack Russells is going to be in for a pretty bad stomachache. And it's not just from that cottony stuff either.